


It Is What It Is

by your_fic_has_stopped_working



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, a bit angsty, and everyone lives in stark tower now, because I said so, in no way is this canon, just a cute one-shot, mainly just adorable ironfam feat. auntie carol and uncle steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_fic_has_stopped_working/pseuds/your_fic_has_stopped_working
Summary: The Avengers may not know Peter Parker's secret identity, but they'd still protect him with their lives. So when Tony finds out that Peter's getting bullied at school, they begin their most important mission yet: Operation Make Flash Thompson Shit His Pants.
Relationships: Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	It Is What It Is

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my big insane Ironfam brain-dump... none of which is canon, because *laughs* Endgame? What's that?  
> Kudos to my friend Just_a_bunch_of_fandoms for helping me with the OG idea, while fangirling over Pepper Potts, and providing endless memes.  
> Enjoy!

Peter sighed as Flash threw yet another chip at his face in the school cafeteria.

“Come on, Penis Parker!” he taunted, grinning. “Forgotten how to talk?”

“Just ignore him,” Ned said reassuringly, “He’ll get bored eventually.”

“Yeah, I know,” Peter replied bitterly.

“And anyway,” Ned continued, seeing Peter was still frustrated, “If he knew you’re-” he whispered- “Spider Man, he’d shut up! You’re cooler than he’ll ever know!”

Peter smiled. “Thanks, Ned.”

“Thanks, Ned,” Tony heard as he stared at the screen in front of him. Petty yet important incidents such as this were what made him put the tiny camera in Pete’s watch. And damn, that Flash kid was so screwed.  
Tony dialled a number on his phone.  
“Hey, Pepper?” He spoke into it. “Call the Avengers? We have a problem.”

***

Ten minutes later, and everyone was reclining on various sofas in Stark Tower penthouse.

"I hope this is important, Tony," Nebula grumbled. "The rest of the Guardians are on another planet somewhere, sorting out some idiot who wants to conquer the world- I stayed on earth to be here."

"Trust me, this is Code-Red serious," Tony promised.

“So Tony, what did you call us here for?” asked Nat.

“Well,” replied Tony, “I’m glad you asked. There’s a kid at Peter's- you know, my intern, Peter Parker- his school, whose biggest kick appears to be verbally attacking those smaller than him in a futile attempt to inflate his already overlarge ego.”

“What?” Steve asked.

“What my husband means,” Pepper said, “is this kid- Flash, right? - is bullying Peter.”

Carol shot upright. “What?! He never told me about this!”

"Not our little brother!" Wanda exclaimed, gesturing to herself and Nebula.

“I know,” Tony said, “I had to install a damn camera in his watch to find out! Why isn’t he telling us these things?”

Nebula said, “Well, we should at least do something about it! Where’s his school?”

“Nebula’s right,” Nat said angrily, “We need to stop this kid hurting anyone else.”

All eyes in the room swivelled to Pepper, waiting for her input. If there was one rule in the tower, it was: Pepper Potts is always right. Even if she’s wrong.

Pepper sighed; she knew she’d never hear the end of it if she said no. “Alright, but I’m helping.”

Tony grinned. “I love you so much right now.”

Pepper swatted his arm. "Of course you do, Anthony Stark, I'm your wife! Anyway, let's get down to business," she said, whipping out her phone.

"I have a plan-" everyone in the penthouse sighed, wanting to get straight to the action, until Pepper shot them a death glare and they straightened. "I'll call Strange, and ask him to open some portals to Peters' school. We'll stagger the surprises for maximum terror; but no injuring anyone! However much of a prick this kid is, he's only a minor. Just make him shit his pants and call it a day."

Nat grinned, "I like the sound of that. But are you sure Strange will help us? We literally barely know him."

"Trust me, I can be very persuasive. Anyway, the kid's too adorable, and I'm prepared to go any lengths for him. Including yelling at a genius with superpowers; I'm used to that, I live with one!"

Tony gasped as he put a hand over his heart. "She called me a genius," he whispered teary-eyed. Nobody heard him except Steve, who started cracking up, although he stopped when everyone else looked at him strangely.

Pepper put her ear to the phone. "Hello, is this Dr Strange? Yes. Yes... Okay, I can wait." She put her hand over the receiver and rolled her eyes at the others. "Yes, hello, Dr Strange? I need a favour. Of course it's important! It's about the kid, Peter Parker. You met him a few months ago? Yes, the... overly enthusiastic one. He's being bullied, and we need you to help us get to his school... Okay, when you put it like that, it sounds stupid- STEPHEN STRANGE, DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP."

The rest of the room slowly backed away from Pepper's fury, pitying Strange for getting on her bad side.

"THIS IS IMPORTANT, HOW DARE YOU WRITE IT OFF AS 'TEENAGERS BEING TEENAGERS'. Thank you. Yes, now! I'm glad we've come to an agreement. Brilliant, thank you! Bye."

Pepper hung up and turned away to find everyone staring at her in awe.

"What?"

***

Peter sighed as he trudged out of the school gates, Ned by his side. Flash had knocked over his beaker in Science, and then blamed it on him, forcing Peter to clean up the mess himself before receiving a stern reprimand. All in all, the day had sucked, and he was looking forward to being somebody people looked up to as Spiderman, instead of regular old Peter Parker.

Suddenly, a glimmer of sparks, like that which might fly out of a fire, appeared in the air to his left. Peter stared at it, before pinching himself on the arm. He didn’t wake up, so what was it?

The sparks flew in a circle, the diameter of which was slowly getting wider and wider until Peter glimpsed the avengers tower penthouse through the centre. Beside him, Ned gasped. Suddenly, the loud and obnoxious voice of Flash could be heard, yelling over to him.

“Hey, Penis!” he shouted gleefully. “What’s that- hang on a minute, actually, what’s that?” confused murmurs broke out across the school grounds, with Peter in the very middle, gaping as Tony Stark and Captain America - the actual Avengers - in full-on suit gear stepped through the portal.

“Hi Peter,” Tony said, winking at the aforementioned.

“Mr Stark- Mr. Captain America, sir- what are you doing- how- what?” Peter gaped.

“Woah.” Flash seemed to have regained his powers of speech, and was blinking slowly- still trying to process what was happening. “So, you weren’t kidding, then, Peni- I mean, Parker? You actually are a Stark intern?!”

Tony and Steve slowly turned to look at the other boy.

“You’re Flash Thompson, right?” asked Steve.

“Oh my god oh my god Captain America knows my name!” Flash exclaimed, hopping up and down on the spot in giddiness.

“Yeah…” Tony said suspiciously; this kid was clearly one of those brats that acted like angels while adults were there and was a prick as soon as their backs were turned. “And, Flash, he’s told us a lot about you. Like, maybe, I don’t know, how you treat other kids.”

“Long story short, Flash, you’re a bully.” Rogers interjected. “And as you may have seen in one of my PSAs, you’ll know that I don’t like bullies.”

Flash went pale, and slowly backed away. Tony slammed down his mask, and Peter grinned. Iron Man pointed his hand directly at Flash’s face, and the blaster powered up. Flash let out a yell, and ran off.

***  
Flash panted as he ran through the school, ignoring all the stares, because 'the literal Avengers are here and freaking Tony Stark just pointed a freaking blaster at his freaking face and oh god, he’s too young and far too hot to die'. But suddenly, the same sparks as before started zipping through the air towards him.

“Dammit,” the boy cursed, why did Parker have so many friends in such high places?

This time, before the portal opened fully, a red mist shot out of it and swirled around Flash. He turned around, feeling discombobulated, before the smoke cleared and he saw Wanda and Nebula standing in front of him.

“Oh, shi-” Flash cursed, backing away in the suddenly empty hallway. Nebula grinned evilly.

“You’re Mr. Thompson, right?” she asked.

“Y-yes, ma’am,” he stuttered. Wanda scowled, and created a ball of dark red mist in her hands. Flash gasped, and Wanda was about to throw it at his face when Nebula put a hand on her arm.

“No, Wanda, you can’t do that!” she reprimanded. Wanda looked confused; this wasn’t part of the plan.

Flash broke into a grin of relief. “Thank you, Ms Blue Alien lady! I promise my father will buy you anything you want!”

Nebula raised her eyebrow, and pulled out a knife. Flash paled. “See, Wanda, this is much neater,” she said. Flash let out another scream, and ran for his life.

***

Flash paused for breath upstairs, where he hoped they wouldn’t find him. This was turning out to be the worst day of his life; he’d met all of these heroes and they all wanted to kill him!

He cursed under his breath as he one again saw the portal open to his right. He couldn’t quite see who it was.

“Look, I promise I’ll stop bullying Penis- I mean Parker,” he begged the unknown hero, “Just please stop trying to kill me!”

Their face came into focus, along with white-hot glowing eyes, gravity-defying hair, and feet hovering a foot off the ground.

“Too right you won’t, boy,” Captain Marvel smirked, and Flash ran for his life.

***

Flash ended up back where he started, in the front of the school gates. He looked around, realising there was nobody in sight except himself. Even Parker had scrammed! He glimpsed the all-to familiar sparks in front of him. Knowing what would soon happen, he tried to run in the opposite direction only to be blocked by another portal, out of which Natasha emerged. He hastily turned around, only to find Pepper exiting the first.

“Oh no,” he cursed.

“Flash Thompson?” asked Natasha, “I have a bone to pick with you.”

“We both do,” said Pepper, dressed in full blue armour with only her head exposed. Natasha causally twirled a long knife in her hand.

“You, Flash, haven’t been the nicest of people,” Pepper continued. “Name-calling, food-throwing, generally tormenting anyone and everyone who doesn’t automatically worship you- sound familiar?”

Flash nodded, petrified.

“So we’re staging an intervention,” Pepper explained. “We’ll let you off this once, but if we ever catch you doing anything that you wouldn't do in front of an adult, we'll be back. And we won't be so merciful next time."

The women smiled at him, turned towards a third, smaller, previously unnoticed portal where all the rest watched from Stark Tower… and ‘exited stage left’, the portal shutting behind them.

***

Back through the portal, Tony turned to Peter and opened his mouth, only to be met with flailing limbs and be almost knocked over in a tight hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. Stark! Oh my gosh, that was awesome! I can’t believe the look on Flash’s face when your blaster at him, and at the end when you all surrounded him, and he practically begged for mercy, I can’t believe it that was amazing!” Peter babbled.

“I’m glad you liked it kid,” Tony smiled. Then his brow furrowed as he thought of something troubling.

“But, Peter,” he asked, concerned, “Why didn’t you tell us that you were getting bullied before?”

Peter’s ears turned red and he hung his head, scratching the back of his neck. “Well, you see, I just… I didn’t want to bother you? You’re super important, you’re a billionaire, you’re Iron Man, and I’m just… me.”

Tony felt tears rise to his eyes, and he gripped Peter by the shoulders. “Listen to me, Pete. You will never, never, not be important enough to me, okay? So you need to get those thoughts out of your head, because they never have been and never will be true. C’mere,” he said, pulling Peter into a hug.

Soon Pepper joined in, then Carol and Natasha, then Nebula, and Wanda, and then everyone was snuggled in a giant group hug… one big, happy family.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave kudos and comments.


End file.
